so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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