If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
