I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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