i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
