Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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