from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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