I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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