I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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