Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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