No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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