are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We're too hungover to prance.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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