you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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