Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
