I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
