You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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