wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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