I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
