We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
