how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
