im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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