my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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