the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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