I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
