i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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