Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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