I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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