I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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