It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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