Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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