Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
