at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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