she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
