I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
