90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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