i just google imaged poop.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
