"it" just moved
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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