my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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