Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
