i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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