Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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