I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
