Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
