i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
