so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
