Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize