I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
