no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
