I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
