In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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