she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
