I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
