put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
