the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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