I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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