It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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