He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
