they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
