Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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