I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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