I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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