Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
